Time Out

I failed a very important test recently (no it wasn’t school or textbook related) and so I just want to devote this post to a free write of my feelings about blogging and any other thoughts I have compiled in the past few days. So failing this test has put me in a very despairing state. I’ve been ignoring all my friends that want to go play Tennis and do other fun things; the strange thing is that Tennis or any other physical outdoor activity is very therapeutic for me and I don’t even want to do any of them right now. I have been doing nothing but sit in front of the computer and eat loads and loads of junk food, particularly Twinkies. I’m really mad at myself for caving in under pressure and whenever I’m mad with myself and feel unworthy, to the point where I don’t want to do anything, I distant myself from the world and the people I know for a good amount of time. For me, during these times, I rather be alone so I can re-evaluate my life.

Why this post and not a post about Microbiology? Well, first off, I don’t really want to talk about those things right now and I think it’s important to just take a breather when you need it and do some self-reflection.

Anyways one thing I have been doing a lot the past few days, besides indulging in s***** food is reading on the net; random subjects from articles on Yahoo and mostly from other Blogs and I don’t really know why this was the only thing I’ve been doing. I was able to do this because I actually deactivated my Facebook and accounts on other social network sites. By doing that and reading, I realized that there is really not a lot of time spent on writing these days and expressing oneself or analyzing problems thoughtfully. It’s a lot of one sentence or one word statuses, watching videos on Youtube only to leave a f*** *** or other 4 letter curse words on comments of videos you don’t like, which I must admit I’m guilty of  from time to time. I even came across a Blog that discussed about how Blogs are becoming extinct now since it’s only older folks that are doing it and once they are gone so will Blogs.

At first, this was just a class requirement for a class that I didn’t want to be in; another boring and pointless activity. Initially, I was just going to post about biology issues, sound like a textbook with bare minimum lengths and be done with it because I thought Blogging was stupid. After reading other people’s Blogs, from classmates and other strangers on the internet, I really feel like Blogging is a form of an open diary where you post issues about your topic, of course, but also incorporate a bit of your thoughts. Besides expression, I realized that blogs can be a form of self-discovery and can be quite calming at times, something that is not done much with people these days. I bring up expression, because if we were to do essays in this class I don't think we would be able to do much of it due to confines of grading, not incorporating videos and pictures and writing about something we don't like.

Of course, at this point, I haven’t produced a lot of posts… well at least the amount required. However; I do spend a lot of time thinking about what my next topic should be. I also go back to my previous posts occasionally to read and work on the flow and correct any errors. Most importantly, I really try my best to research on my topic, refresh my memory so that I can make it easy to for people to comprehend and also thought provoking; try to avoid any fancy or complicated scientific terms so that it’s more relatable and less confusing, and steer away from many of the complicated processes or at least break it down straight to the point.

As I hinted on before, I was going to explain everything with my current knowledge and write without much thought; but after the class evaluations and everything it wasn’t going to happen anymore, which I’m kind of glad. By doing research on things I think I know about, I discover more interesting things and I feel like I want to explain it more with care as opposed to just randomly talking about it like nothing. In a way it made me ponder upon certain issues deeper instead of just recalling the scientific facts I’ve memorized about them.  

I don’t know how long this interest will allow me to Blog, if any, after this class but at this moment I think I’m getting the hang of Blogs. I realize that perhaps writing does have some benefits besides for school work. Anyways, I'm a bit glad I took some time out to do some self-reflection and evaluation.